The Prank That Was Too Good: The “BAGEL DROP OFF AND PICK UP ONLY” Parking Space

Undoubtably one of my ultimate gags, this is the story of how I pranked NKU into making an official parking zone just for bagel delivery. You are gonna wanna read this one!

An idea came to me Freshman year as me and my hallmates were discussing our frustrations with having to park so very far away from our dorm since the nearby lot was small and filled so quickly. From there, we throw out some humorous solutions, such as training a goose to sit in a parking spot and only moving for your car (I’m still working on this one. If you are a goose trainer or know one, lets get in touch).

Eventually, one of us jokingly suggested painting a parking space to look official enough that nobody else would park there, but, as to avoid getting in trouble for basically reserving our own parking space, we would make the official-looking text to be clearly ridiculous and fictional…

And you better believe thats exactly what I ended up actually doing my Sophomore year! haha!

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I decided that the phrase “BAGEL DROP OFF AND PICK UP ONLY” would clearly be fake and made up sounding to any NKU staff and most students, but it still is painted on the ground, so students would be too afraid to park there (besides those in on the gag).

I traced out the lettering onto a giant sheet of paper using a projector then cut them out to get a nice clean stencil. After picking the perfect spot near the back entrance by the dinning hall, I waited until nightfall and proceeded to sweep the parking space clean.

Using temporary marking chalk paint, I sprayed the stencil, pulled it up and returned inside. Then I watched as students began to pull up to the only empty parking space in the upper lot only to find that it was reserved for a fictional bagel delivery person.

In fact, I rarely parked there afterwords as it was just too funny to watch other students not park there. but eventually, after about a month, a few other students started parking there, I guess because they figured that it was clearly just a joke.

(quick aside about the temporary paint that I was using…  I was lead to believe that it would only last about a month… Buuuut I was wrong.  It ended up staying there in a perfectly visible form for about 8 months!  Even through all of the snow that we had in 2015. Thanks, Krylon…)

But here is where the joke gets really funny…
One day, about two months later, I was walking outside to the lower lot and I see this…

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THERE WAS AN OFFICIAL NKU STAFF PARKING SIGN THERE!!!

Someone at Parking Services and/or Facility Maintenance saw ‘BAGEL DROP OFF AND PICK UP ONLY’ and thought, “Oh no, this Bagel drop off only parking spot doesn’t have a sign! We need to put one here!”

They poured a deep concrete base for it and everything…  Like this clearly took more than one person to make happen.  As in, multiple employees just believed that the dinning hall needed so many bagels, that they had to have a permanent parking space solely designated for bagel delivery…  Even though there were not reserved parking spaces at Callahan for dinning hall staff, custodians or anyone else besides Hall Director and Assistant Hall director…

I was so excited about this achievement that I had to get a picture with it to send to friends and family proving that I pranked just too hard.

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(Wow I need to start cleaning my camera lenses before I take pictures lol)

After that, I never parked in it, although one or two people still did.

Supposedly, one of my friend’s friends got a parking ticket for parking here, but I’m not so sure about that actually happening, because I’m pretty sure if someone got a ticket there they would dispute it and/or parking services would send someone out to take a closer look at the parking space.  Before I made this post I actually asked one of my friends who has worked at parking services for quite a while, and she says she never heard anything about it if they did actually get a ticket for that space. But she said she would try to look it up and ask around the office later this week and let me know what she finds. If someone actually did, I would feel pretty bad about it honestly…

And about the people that kept parking there, most of them I didn’t know, but I always felt like they were askin’ for a prankin’ by parking in a prank parking spot. I never did it, but I always wanted to get a dining hall employee uniform and wait for one of them to show up, and then run up to them say “FINALLY! YOU’RE HERE! WERE DYING IN THERE! WHERE ARE THOSE BAGELS!?!?” and then when they say they are not the bagel delivery person, yell “WHAT! YOU CANT PARK HERE! This spot is only for bagel delivery! We need those bagels pronto! I’m calling that delivery boy right now!” and then run back inside.

Anyways, like I said, that paint stayed there in that spot for about 8 or so months, before it became too faint to really read from a car. But to this day, that sign is still there. And apparently the dining hall staff park there now, which I’m sure they appreciate, even if it means they don’t actually have a dedicated pastry drop off zone.

And thats the story of how I pranked NKU Parking Services and Facility Maintenance into making an official parking space for bagel delivery.

PS, I believe I still have this stencil somewhere… If anyone needs to reserve a parking space and wants to borrow it, let me know! haha just kidding!

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Invisible Hands

Since its inception, the NKU Honors living community hall in Callahan has a had a neat end of year tradition where all residents add their handprints to one brick of the J-wing wall and put there name in between. I of course, took this structured creative outlet and subverted it in some small way. Freshman year, I utilized the concept of blank-space and made my handprints almost the exact same color as the background.
My hope is that for years to come, the eyes of bypassing honors students will automatically be drawn to the puzzling blank space in the center of the wall, and upon closer inspection, be even more puzzled by the hand prints that are simply a shade lighter than the background.
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To that end, I would consider my work a success.

 

Godzilla for Boone County Destroyer

This is probably the longest continuous shenanigan I have done. For the past 2 years, I have been frequently updating a Facebook page called “Godzilla For Boone County City Destroyer,” including making the wonderful Florence water tower stomping GIF. Over the last few weeks, I have been paying for Facebook ads for my gag page to appear to very targeted audiences in Boone County, to the point where hopefully these people are pretty much seeing the ad all the time lol We ended up getting a lot of shares on the ad and plenty of new likes and laughs.
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We also did Door-to-door canvasing, thanks to the Godzilla costume I purchased this summer and have since been upgrading fursuit-style into a real Godzilla costume.


The canvasing wasn’t as successful as possible due to the fact that nobody was really available to help me with it the week before the election. we did it really last minute, but we still got quite a few confused looks and good laughs for it. Sadly none of the videos turned out well, so I’m not gonna bother posting them, but I will share with you the script of talking points we kept on the clip board for use while canvasing.

Greeting:
“hello Sir/Madam, Do you have a minute to talk about the upcoming local election for City Destroyer?”

No: “We’re sorry to bother you, please have a wonderful and smashing day.”

Yes/What: “Godzilla is running for office of City Destroyer in November on behalf of The G.O. M. party, the Gigantic Outraged Monstrosities party. The time has come for serious candidates to step forward in Boone County, and to step ON Boone County.”

Experience:

“Are you aware of Godzilla’s experience as a public servant? Over the past 70 years, He has personally worked with numerous high ranking military officials of the Japanese and US military on several large projects. Together, they ensured that maximum crushing occurred in places like Tokyo and NYC. Now, its time for Boone County.”

Go into policies from here.

Policies:
“While Godzilla’s main platform is on top of your house or place of business, there are a few things Godzilla has fought for through out his life, primarily himself.

Godzilla is pro-life. For his life, not yours.
Godzilla is in favor of all green initiatives, like himself.
Godzilla plans to destroy the heroin epidemic, along with everything else.
Godzilla supports the second amendment, bullets only make him stronger.
Godzilla has big plans for restructuring the economy, as well as the topography.
Godzilla wants to eliminate unnecessary spending, as well as spending at all.
Godzilla will make nuclear waste management is a large priority.
Godzilla wants to Make America Great Again, as great as it was before it was colonized by man.
Godzilla fights against growth of big business, Godzilla has fought plenty of bigger enemies, like Mothra.”

Opponent: “Godzilla’s opponent, the incumbent Ebola Virus has not done what he has promised 2014. He has not reaped destruction to our society, Godzilla is tired of politicians who play these games.”

Qualification: “it is true that some have questioned Godzilla’s birth affecting his candidacy. This is merely a political tactic. Godzilla was born in 1952 at Bikini atoll, a US military base.”

Other office: “Godzilla is a public servant. he has stated that he will also accept a write in position as Boone County District 5 Stomptroller.”


Closing: 
“In closing, Godzilla is a loving mother who desires to represent the needs of Boone County…’s destruction.
Godzilla seeks to unite Northern Kentuckians, that way they are easier to find and crush.
Godzilla’s goal is to eliminate Boone County’s Carbon Footprint and replace it with his own.
A vote for Godzilla is a vote for change. BIG change.

We hope to hear your voice at the voting booth, screaming in terror for Godzilla. Thank you for your time.”

If they are responding positively, before leaving ask if we can have a quick photo op with them shaking hands with Godzilla. if they agree, also ask if they have a baby that Godzilla can kiss. Because, you know, it would be good for his image.

  • Sadly no one had a baby Godzilla could kiss.

I also designed a chat bot for the Facebook page, which you can check out by going to the page and clicking “message” and type any message to Godzilla and see how he responds! Its pretty fun and was a good learning experience for me to try out.

I even wrote an editorial to send into the Boone County Enquirer for the election day paper, but I forgot to submit it before the deadline (PS how am I an honors student in college!?).

Unfortunately though, Godzilla informed us on Wednesday that he had lost the election. He mad a very gracious move in conceding to his opponent, 2016’s biggest fear: “Impending Race War.”
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Sad, but clearly the people have spoken. they are not ready for true destruction yet. So it looks as though Godzilla will be seeking the office again in the next election! What a true public monstrosity.

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Roar.

More Dress Silliness

A few times a year these same crazy street “preachers” come to campus. I say crazy and “preachers” because they really couldn’t be farther from Christ followers, so I won’t even dignify them by calling them that.  From what I understand, these guys make a living by baiting people to assault them and then sue the venue or the assaulter for large amounts of money. Its clear they are saying the most outlandish and offensive things they can, regardless of if it has anything to do with a radical Biblical interpretation or not, simply to illicit a response.

The best policy is to just ignore them and not validate their pretend preaching. But sometimes its important to make onlookers (which there are always alot of) realize just how silly what they are saying is, which is exactly what I did.

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This sign has paid for itself several times over by now.

I just jokingly stood there and asked people for their opinion of the color. The overall consensus was that it was white and gold (initiate disagreement). The “preacher” never commented, but he did inform us that Harambe deserved to die, so theres that.

So at the end of the day gang, always remember, if it doesn’t sound like good news, then its not the Gospel! 

Protest The Dress

Last night Trumpypoo himself was in Cincinnati, so I figured I ought to show up at the protest scene to lighten the mood.

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Most of the protesters thought it was pretty fun and silly, it definitely got a few good laughs.

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The protest area

 

One trump fan even called me a hippy and told me to get a job. I am very proud of this achievement. My parents are as well. (I responded by requesting him to tell me what color the dress was, to which he answered with a raised middle finger and more employment related encouragement)

Conan’s Home

Last week I moved into my new apartment near NKU. Seeing as my apartment windows face the main road of the complex, my dear friend Conan has been on guard during spooky late night hours.
You know, just greeting the neighbors.

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Say, how much is that Handsome Barbarian in the window?

The Cozy Parking Spot

If an old Cozy Coupe car is being thrown out, it might as well provide someone with one more laugh. Or many people with a laugh. So that’s just what I made happen.


Basically I just put a cozy coupe in the best parking spot near the front of my dorm hall. I even outfitted it with a fake, clearly photocopied (with the numbers covered up) NKU parking pass in it. You know, just in case any of the parking goons wanted to ticket it.
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It was the talk of the day, or at least the afternoon bus ride for Callahan Hall! I’m pretty sure I saw a tweet about it, but I didn’t save it or screenshot it, oh well.

It got moved to the sidewalk pretty quickly, but only after having the fake parking pass stolen.
I would love to know who took the parking pass and what they did with it. lol

Of course I went back and retrieved it later and properly disposed of it. Otherwise that’s littering, which isn’t fun for anyone.