The Dorm Mail Crocodile

So I received this email from our dorm building manager before Christmas break freshman year, stating that in only a few days from now the dorm mail service would be closed for break, and that they could not make ANY EXCEPTIONS….
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I found this a little hard to believe… There has to be some circumstance in which an exception could be made! I decided to try to find out, and replied with this message
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My friend must be too scared to ask for himself! The building manager sent me this email in return:
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Green light! Now I can really have some fun with it! I read somewhere that it is legal to mail alligators up to two feet long through the US postal service (although this no longer appears to be the case), so I thought why not go for that!
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Unfortunately he didn’t bite… And by he, I mean the building manager. He assumed I was joking… and I was.
Though at the time, I had an elaborate idea to mail myself a box like this one

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But with a speaker and battery inside that would play crocodile noises every few hours! Sadly I didnt bother to do that at the time…
Oh how I regret not doing that! That would have got me a response!

I later sent him another message (or thought I did, but now I’m realizing I sent it to myself!) detailing the beast’s condition
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I wondered why he never replied to that! But I also wonder if he would have anyways!

Either way, my friend’s croc was pretty furious during the unboxing…

I’m still on the email list for the dorms… maybe I’ll pull something like this again!

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Author: Jared K

Prank artist, chainsaw juggler, Marsupial extraordinaire, VHS-remote collector/connoisseur, ice sculpture repair technician and generally a real cool cat.